"Barack Obama has the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE tattooed on his stomach. It’s upside-down, so he can read it while doing sit-ups."

http://www.slate.com/id/2193798/

my Michael Ian Black vice

In other news, Obama made up his own seal. Who does he think he is? Just making up seals and shit. It sure does look familiar.



One of Barack's spokesmen says it was a "one-time" use. I guess that means it won't be used again. Until he's President.

oh huffy

"Sen. John McCain appeared on the Today Show this morning and continued to promote his idea of a long occupation in Iraq. But whatever merits there may be for his message, his delivery is once again promising to get him into trouble.

When asked if he knew when American troops could start to return home, McCain responded:
"No, but that's not too important. What's important is the casualties in Iraq."



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/

i wanna be a kennedy

So Obama's biz pro battle versus Hillary has (finally) come to an end. Now that the fight in the lime-light is finished, we're all left with a panting, standing-on-a-precipice, sort of feeling. The battle scars are deep on both sides of the evenly torn Democratic party. Emotional opinions have flown high throughout this entire process. We almost forgot about McCain, didn't we? And now we have to question what happens next.

People are so passionate with their views on Obama and Hillary, that right now it seems doubtful that we'll have the mass crossover that the Democrats need. Hillary's voters have said they will either stay home on election day OR vote for McCain.

How is this happening? I honestly didn't think it was possible that America would let another Republican in the White House after the past 8 years.

It's time to whip out the first aid kit, Barack. Make good with Hil's voters before McCain is breezing into the Oval Office without even breaking a sweat.

scream to me

He hides in his suit like a snake in the grass
his sales pitch fork tongue hissed
now the wolves wear their name tags they are hunting in packs
herding their prey up the aisles and back
they're smiling
their teeth are showing

while the doctors and lawyers like vultures descend
they swoop down to the scene of the car accident
to pick the victims to pieces then
there is the sly fox makes his money
telescamming notch babies
he says the end is near buy my policy
I'll make you young again
I'll make you young again
[wooh!!]

take the cash from my hand
hear the register sing
and the roar of the lion logo on the screen
he's hungry
I should buy some popcorn
so I exit the dark feeling blind in the sun
and the bobcats look tired they ate their fill of asphalt
because we need more parking
with so many rows

up at the pulpit rams and bugs
the news cameras capture guerilla warfare
eagles into buildings crash
landed despair is all that there is now

in a cubical cage that smells like a rat
whose smile gets bigger along with your debt
don't take it personal its just business

*survival of the fittest - desaparecidos

GO LISTEN TO IT!

http://www.myspace.com/desaparecidos

dropping the glass slipper

Columbia, SC has an unofficial quip, or slogan if you will. "Keep it classy, Columbia". Growing up in South Carolina, as in almost any place, you find many facets of class and wealth. The impoverished trailer park (or "project", if you live above the Mason-Dixon) is a far cry from the cobblestone streets of Rainbow Row and Park Avenue pent houses. In addition to this fiscal separation, lies an almost greater expanse between social classes. For an ignorantly blissful moment of my life, I toyed with the idea of social class being something I read about in Charles Dickens' novels. For years, the highly romanticized theme of the "poor boy falling in love with the rich girl" has taken a multitude of authors and directors to the bank. I hate to burst your bubble, but social stratification still exists. And it goes beyond the constraints of "upper", "middle" and "lower"! Now before you start to think I'm a Marxist, let me elaborate.

When it comes to relationships, "Meeting the parents" is as much of an initiation as a white-gloved girl at a Debutante Ball. Don't go dropping the glass slipper, Prince Charming - but she's judging you. It's all a test. Makes me think that India has the right idea with arranged marriage. It saves a hell of a lot of time and effort. Trust me, your parents know best! They know EXACTLY what social strata you fall into the moment you're born. They know the amount of involvement you need/deserve in political, social, and educational environments. And YES, this extends to sex, love and marriage.

Don't stray too far from what you are told you need. It quickly becomes survival of the fittest.

My advice to you? Don't be blind to your own intuition. The shallow people of this world find it a nearly impossible feat to hide. You may find that someone you care about isn't the person you thought they were. Gasp! This is not abnormal. We are all enrolled in Bullshit 101 from the time we are taken from the hospital, midwife, clinic. Embrace your predetermined class and attain your BS. If you succeed, you might move up a bracket or two. Do this on your own, and not with the help of a puddle looking for a trophy. I would rather be my money than new money, new money than old money, and none of the above if it adversely affects my happiness. God forbid you find yourself with a person whose class (or personal views on class) do not match your own.

Should that situation arise.. my real advice is to immediately swipe your Metro Card back home.

And the Oscar goes to...

I try not to talk a lot about political .. anything. It doesn't necessarily fit my personal description of "entertainment". However, the Democratic debate this past Thursday - held in LA's Kodak Theater - proved to be cinematically disturbing. This election is so monumental and at times, a bit much for "little ol me" (as someone so endearingly states) to digest. I'm personally sick and tired of being heckled on the street corners by the copious amount of Obama/Clinton advocates. That's another story. As I was saying about the theatrical debate...

You might compare the interaction between Senators Barack Obama and Hillary Rodham Clinton to that of a flirtatious encounter between the team captains of opposing high school debate teams. Toothy smiles and stolen glances were exchanged. At one point, Obama bent down to whisper niceities in Hill's ear. What is going on here?! Forgive me for my lack of appreciation for their compassion. But this is the gladiator arena. Save the fake-as-wedding-cake B.S. for post competition - or not at all. I didn't see Coach Tom Coughlin blowing kisses to Bill Belichick across the field (GO GIANTS) on Sunday night. I mean come on people. Give me a little American Dream here.

I wouldn't mind seeing a Democrat in the White House - don't get me wrong. But this display of competition is weak. On the other side, the Republicans were much more tooth & nail at Wednesday night's debate. Let it be known that nothing scares me more than the thought of Masshole Mitt Romney becoming president. (who - let me note - has withdrawn millions from his personal bank account - thus greatly outspending his rivals) Sighs.

At this point, I've become quite fond of Mrs. Clinton - who said of the Republican candidates: "They are more of the same. Neither of us, by looking at us, is more of the same - we will change our country". That is music to my ears.

good news for people who love bad news

all that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost.

-- j.r.r. tolkien

Sometimes I feel like I'm on an extended vaca in NY. Oh I'll be going back eventually. No. When people up here ask me (and almost everyday someone does) "do you like it here" and "will you ever go back"? I tell them in the most exasperated tone that I simply love it and that the only other places I would consider moving beyond New York would be San Fran, San Diego, or Europe. Everyday is such a plethora of experiences and explosion of sensory pleasures, that anything less would surely result in death by boredom.

My roommate, Gabor had his family (father, mother, brother, brother's girlfriend) visiting NY these past couple weeks for the holidays. They're from Hungary. Well, Camilla the girlfriend is from Poland. His mom doesn't speak English. So that was interesting enough to have to have everything translated. His brother and his brother's gf don't know eachother's first language so they oddly enough speak their second language (English) to eachother only. It was Camilla's first time in the States. She really liked it. As we were sitting in our living room watching MTV's super stupid "Super Sweet Sixteen" - Camilla tells me these shows are blasted across Europe and that she (along with everyone else) is under the impression that THIS is what American teens are like. She was completely surprised when she actually got here and found out that wasn't the case. She asked me if I had a Sweet 16 party like the ones on this show. I laughed out loud and told her no. I was in shock. No wonder so many people despise us. We are the superpower here and hold an immense responsibility in this world. Why is everyone so disillusioned? Sad to say, the media is responsible for the majority of this misrepresentation.

But you have to ask yourself...how far off is the media from the truth? We have deserted our once industrial society and traded it for a consuming one. A society dependent on services. It's all about us. What can you do to make my life more comfortable, flamboyant, sexy, fun? Work ethic out the window - let's depend on our rich Daddy's who work in the Pharma companies to throw us parties worthy of MTV. But oh, there's no real-life reward in that - is there, little girl? Depressed much? Good thing your Daddy is working hard to pump out a multitude of shiny new pills each year. I saw the saddest thing on TV a few days ago.

More drugs for people on drugs. That's right. NatureMade has come out with a new line of products called RX Essentials. Their product line ranges in everything from Arthritis, to Heartburn, to - that's right - depression. It's simple really - some of those perscription drugs you're on right now, remove natural vitamins and nutrients from your body. WHAT?!
Therefore...you need this:

http://www.naturemade.com/ProductDatabase/prd_prod.asp?tab=Products&section=2&productid=200

Ahhhk what's with all my venting lately?

I've become sublimely aware.