It simultaneously induces fear, independence, and a sense of abnormality. It's going up and down, without the uppers and downers. You can't buy that kind of drug cocktail at a frat party.
I remember girls in high school and incredibly, college - whose shreds of remaining self-confidence, wouldn't allow them to go to the bathroom without another person. While we chose our evening apparel (with each other's approval) and painted on our make-up, we were dialing our cells to assure that everyone would arrive to the party on time. It would be a complete disaster if one of us showed up before the other. Girls couldn't arrive at a party alone. It instilled a most primal fear in the shallow pools of their hearts. God.for.bid.
I had the sweetest girls stay with me this weekend - my cousin and her three girlfriends (all sophomores at CofC). And they said to me:
"You are so mature. Were you this mature when you were our age?".
And I laughed, partly so I wouldn't cry that college sophomores were referring to me as being infinitely older.
But it isn't my maturity, so much as confidence, that they were noticing. Why are young women in today's society so void of this attribute? I could start a laundry list of cliche reasons: the media, lack of parental guidance, etc etc. It makes me very sad to see that (especially Southern) young women tend to fall into a sort of naive, spiritless existence.
Confidence is rarely inherent. You have to find it, mold it, substantiate it. From my personal experience, this is (in part) achieved by doing things by yourself. It's okay to be the lone person sitting in the window at Chipotle, looking out at the passing crowds. And when you walk out of that door, full and content, knowing that you've done something that SOME people are actually afraid to do, you will find your confidence meter twitching.
Who knows - you might even have a Mary-Tyler-Moore moment.
And that feeling is just great.
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