Goodbye Blogger

You've been so good to me. But I must move on. All is not lost!

You can find my new and improved blog here:

http://misscollinsnyc.tumblr.com/

the rundown

Season Fabulous of Project Runway premiered last night. After a small tift with the roommate for programming control, I settled into my 9 o'clock appointment with an egg-white omelet and an open mind.

I think we all knew that Kelly was going to win, what with her bleach/dye job on vaccum cleaner bags. Amazing.

Overall, the cast leaves something to be desired, but it was nice to see Austin Scarlett's porcelain face and as always, Heidi is a stunning pair of legs.

pist

And so it's incredibly frustrating when you are expecting something wonderful and are let down. When you make plans and build up scenarios in your mind. When you wake up an hour early to hit the gym because you anticipate not having the time later in the day. When you set an appointment for the afternoon and then discover it could wait til tomorrow.

I'm feeling all of the above this morning. He's been in Brazil for two weeks and his flight was pushed back a day.

Am I overreacting?? Maybe...

hung

"all I have to say is shots of knob creek out of the bottle"

lyrical wisdom

This blog makes my life. And these could quite possibly be the best lyrics of all time:

“You take your car to work, I’ll take my board”

Song: Surf Wax America

Artist: Weezer

Album: Weezer (Blue Album)

Year:1994

I mean honestly, who didn't have the blue album memorized?

“When I look back on all the crap I learned in high school It’s a wonder I can think at all.“

I am all shades of stupid today for Simon & Garfunkel. The radio reminded me of "Kodachrome" while I was getting dolled up this morning, and I promptly ganked it off Limewire. Ahh, the original Postal Service. I love you both.

i'm hitting the afternoon hunger hurdle

I HATE YOU NEW YORK TIMES! *COUGH* *CRY* *COUGH* *DROOL*

Milano's got cookies

What a moment. And I'm loving the hat.



Perchance you weren't aware, the Satorialist is a fashion blog by Scott Schuman (a former director of men's fashion at Bergdorf Goodman in New York). He takes photographs of real people, in their real fashion, on the real streets of fashion-centric cities.

summer in the city

I spent a hedonistic weekend in the city, doing whatever the hell I wanted to. The only premeditated endeavor, was a full day of shopping in Soho with my girlfriend who just moved up from DC. McKinnon and I started the day at 10AM. I grabbed a banana and an iced coffee and we met at the only reasonable starting point we could determine, Saks Fifth.

This recession has done wonders for my wardrobe! Aside from travel, retail is one of the first to go, when your economy is saying "bye-bye" to a bank every Monday morning. What does this mean for those of us who pretend we aren't affected by the downturn?

SALES! Every Soho boutique was decorated with 50's and 70's and percentage signs galore. Even Burberry was selling their classic quilted coats for nearly half off. It just got really cold in here all of a sudden...

Sunday was even more self-serving, as I spent the morning with "Breakfast at Tiffany's", the afternoon with the sun, and the evening with Border's bookstore. (my not-so-secret retreat) As I was leaving Grand Central, I saw a wide-brimmed hat that reminded me of my Audrey morning. And I really just couldn't help myself.

good morning from gmail!

damn.damn.damn.

_______ is listed as married

And so I was thinking about all of my supposed friends on facebook who have recently become engaged or married. Every fifteen minutes I log on, it seems I discover a new relationship status change or a photo album chock full of penis straws and slant-eyed celebration. I want to see some more status changes to single. Maybe a couple "added new photos" of "me, my cat, and our studio apartment". I realize it's wedding season, and this is expected. But De Beers must be having a sale, because it's out of hand. Or maybe I'm getting old. (by the South's standards)

Dude - stop digging up old photos from your wedding 2 years ago and adding one at a time. You KNOW I'm going to browse through that crap and look for an update - only to discover you've just rearranged the memories.

I mean, can you smell the scent of envy here? Aside from the fact that you've found your "one-and-only", who doesn't want to plan a lavish party dedicated to them? (meaning the couple) I'm no way near this. I'm focusing on making rent this month. I'd have to elope behind a Dunkin Doughnuts.

I'm going to take this a step further. And in fact, I don't think I ever want a ring. Say "I love you" with a pair of blood free diamond earrings and tie a kabbalah string around my thumb. Yeah, that sounds about right.

nudity, violence & cars

My cyber friend, PP has me on an ultimatum. His request? Nudity, violence & cars. (as if I were lacking any such content in my blog - pshaw)

In an effort to draw inspiration, I stumbled upon his facebook picture. Here it is:



Replace the car with the boat, and I think this just about sums it up. You made it easy, P.

yumminess

I can't stand either one of them and their United Colors of Benetton family. But they look like they'd be cool next-door neighbors.

"Depending on which side of the bed I wake up on, blogging is either the vainest possible act of self-puffery, practiced by those who want to believe they are a lot more important than they actually are, or an unprecedented revolution in human communication, no less important of a historical record than the hand-written letters and journals of centuries past.

Sometimes I’ll land on both sides of that fence in the same day. No wonder I’m confused." - - Steven Frank on blogging

flossin' at conde'

Sorry I haven't had much time to write. I'm just lounging around, getting mani/pedis and legitimizing a banana for a meal. The "clackers" are everywhere. (noun. a high fashion, sophisticated girl, always wearing the new Chanel or Yves Saint Laurent. Someone who knows the difference between the colors black and onyx)

I had to get a steak for my boss earlier, and she subsequently threw it in the garbage and chastised me for an hour or two.



Totally joking. I'm swamped though. And now I want a steak.

three new yorks

"There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born there, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size, its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter - the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in search of something . . . Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness, natives give it solidity and continuity, but the settlers give it passion."
E. B. White (1899-1985) Here is New York

Mister Van Cleef

And so I was sitting, (quite hung) on the subway this morning. I clutched my liter of Poland Springs and glanced up at the woman opposite me. There it was. The clover leaf Mother of Pearl necklace I have been asking/begging/googling, in an effort to discover the designer. It went something like this:

Me
Lady with a small fortune around her neck

"Excuse me, who makes your jewelry?"
"Van Cleef"
*sigh of relief*
"It's just gorgeous, I've been trying to find out who makes it! It's expensive...isn't it."
*lowers head, raises brows*
"$5000" (points to necklace)
"$5000" (points to matching bracelet)
"$12,000" (points to matching watch)
"Well, it's very nice to look at. Seeing as that's the only thing I'll be doing with Van Cleef"

The woman was wearing a Volkswagon. She then told me she works in the store, and doesn't (in fact) own any of it. That made me feel a little better, but not much.

...and then God said, "let there be John Fluevog"

Art Deco tootsies with drops of wisdom emblazzoned on the soles. "Your body parts are not communal property".



And I think I need these:



...for Styley Style.com

today i will

• relax after a weekend in Boston with my mom and sis
• be excited about one of my favorite gf's moving up from DC last night
• stop by the bank
• lay out in central park and work on my pre-fourth tan
• mentally prepare myself to start my new job at Style next Monday
• have dinner at Becco with friends and bf - 8ish

coworker's moving-to-sweden party

and the red lips are out tonight...

frankly, my dear, i don't give a damn.

In continuum of my Favorite Characters, I present the bewitching Vivian Leigh as Scarlett O'Hara.



Gone with the Wind is naturally in Hayley's Top 5, for obvious reasons. As a daughter of the Confederacy, Scarlet embodies the intense bravado of today's woman with the frailty (and enviable ability to faint on command) of women from her time.



She's one of the most vibrant heroines in movie history. A gun-swinging, baby-delivering, goddess of hoop skirts, who could make a couture gown from velvet drapes. She didn't take shit from anyone and Rhett Butler adored her because of it. (Clark Gable! Come on people! What a stud...) I'll admit, I prefer her nonchalant, pre-war character and life (before times got tough and Ashley got married). But...



Who doesn't want to sit around, sipping sweet tea, being courted by a bunch of Southern boys from Charleston?

you won't regret reading this

"Finally, I have the life I have always wanted; and now, when I open the paper and study the engagement pages, read about the girls in their late twenties getting married, my heart goes out to them, and I pray they are doing it for the right reasons and not because they worry they are going to be left behind. I pray they are doing it because they have found someone they cherish, who they can grow old with, whom they truly love, and not just because they are reaching their sell-by date and have found someone who has asked. Simply being loved, I discovered, is not enough."

this article is absolutely worth the time it takes to read:

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article4166499.ece

my office conversation with katie

"there's a hair stuck in my goop" - kb
"my goop won't come out anymore" - hc
"my goop got stuck to my clothes one time. once it gets stuck to your clothes, you cant get it off." -kb
*pause*
"are you hearing this conversation?" - hc
*hilarity ensues*

*goop - n. the bright orange, moldable substance that (i think) is supposed to relieve stress or be "fun".

if you feel like being emotional...like i do today. beautiful.

Please confirm how you know each other.

"My ex-fiance recently joined Facebook. I like to believe that he and I are friendly - the pain of break-up long since passed and the who did what to whom no longer an issue. We’ve moved on and we were always good at the friend bit. Besides it’s not difficult to remember someone fondly when they live 9000 miles away.

Honestly, I have no idea how he feels. We both periodically send these “how’s your life that I was almost a larger part of” emails. I’m under the impression that we both send these more out of genuine appreciation of our shared past than a desire to make sure that the other person isn’t happier than the other. I know I hope that he’s happy. Afterall, he was the great love of my life at one time but ours wasn’t something that was sustainable.

Anyway, I opened my gmail today to see that we are now Facebook friends and that he had entered details on how we know each other.

This I had to see.

I mean Facebook doesn’t really have a “we dated for six years, she broke up me, and then six months later we poorly decided to get back together and then I rushed to propose to her, she stupidly accepted, then we spent months pretending this could actually work and then three weeks before the big day she overheard me on the phone telling me mother that I didn’t think I could go through with it” box.

Instead, it appeared Greg went with the next best thing…Please confirm the following details - “You went to college with Greg.”

I certainly did."


*I unfortunately did not write this post - just thought it was worthy of reposting - see link below*

http://perpetualstateofflux.tumblr.com/post/38786198/please-confirm-how-you-know-each-other

"Barack Obama has the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE tattooed on his stomach. It’s upside-down, so he can read it while doing sit-ups."

http://www.slate.com/id/2193798/

my Michael Ian Black vice

In other news, Obama made up his own seal. Who does he think he is? Just making up seals and shit. It sure does look familiar.



One of Barack's spokesmen says it was a "one-time" use. I guess that means it won't be used again. Until he's President.

Mmmm BEEFY.

Please go pick up the latest edition of People magazine. You will not regret it. Mario Lopez (newbie to Broadway's "A Chorus LIne") has been crowned "Hottest Bachelor of 2008" and is boasting more muscles than a fraternity's biceps-only workout. It's especially helpful if you're trying a new summer diet called bulemia. I present to you, exhibit A.



Mario Lopez as Burt Reynolds as Well We Know HE Shaves.

This is not the AC Slater I know and love. This is my Ken doll on steroids, dipped in baby oil. Help! I've been locked up in Equinox for the past 5 years!

Come back to the bell you chauvinist pig.

taking out the trash

Just in from those celebrity crack babies, the Olsen twins. (or at least one of them) The ever-trustworthy Gawker, reports someone has dug up a few drunken photo ops from some flannel party that screams "I'm so country, ya'll"!

I have a love-hate relationship with the twins. I hate that they wear fur. I love their style. I hate how they have nothing better to do than spend money. No, I'm not jealous.

It seems like a birthday celebration, but who knows with these screw-ups. I guess I'd have a few loose too if I was forced to play the same character as my twin sister, though. (talk about an identity crisis) Oh yeah, Nicole Ritchie and the guy from that shitty band were there too. Freaks I tell you!



http://gawker.com/tag/photo-gallery/?i=396874&t=mary+kate-olsen-party-candids

J.C. Penney gets loose

I'm in complete shock over J.C. Penney's new ad. Sex has finally made it's way into the sales racks of Middle America. Now, I typically walk a fine line between my conservative, Southern up-bringing and liberal New York surroundings - but this has left me at a loss for words (almost).

The ad depicts two teenagers, speed dressing. They've gotten it down to 18 seconds (oh they're good). They call back to the unknowing parental unit with her ass stuck in the lazy boy. "We'll just be in the basement - watching TV". Wink, wink.

Because for J.C. Penney, "Every Day Matters" and "Today's the day to get away with it".



Really, people? What are we getting away with here? Hoping that teens will jump in their parent's Fords and head over to their favorite sex-charged department store to snag a wardrobe with Velcro and snaps? Better yet, the whole family could take a trip to the mall and each member could disperse to their appropriately sexified store sections.

I'm not denying that sex sells clothes (or anything for that matter). Abercrombie discovered this eons ago. (see figure 1) But honestly, I'd rather see old people in a sexified denture ad, than the depiction of awkward, pre-teen, sexual encounters.

My Favorite Characters, and an announcement

Borrowing a idea from one of my fellow finger tapping bloggers, I've decided to start a temporary theme: my favorite characters. This will include celebrities (real or fictional) who:

a) are worthy of idolization
b) i'd do
c) i secretly pine to be

For now, this will continue until I my creativity dissipates. It's pretty broad, so I imagine it can go on indefinitely. We'll see.

And without further ado, I present my first FC: Kate Hudson as Andie Anderson - in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.



Kate Hudson is fabulous in general. She's just doing her thing, CondeNast style - writing witty articles and trying to save the world. And who could forget the yellow dress scene? I would forgo a week of meals for that dress/to fit in that dress.

And so, the announcment part of this post. I've taken a Sales Associate position at Style.com (the online home of Vogue & W). And I start on July 7th! Ahk!

"I wish it was Sunday
cause that's my funday."
-- the ever-enlightened Cyndi Lauper

overnight in AC

This past Summer Friday was spent bussing down to Atlantic City for the night. I watched the BF play Blackjack and Craps while cautiously sipping pink vodka/cranberry. Atlantic City is like a much smaller, trashier (if that's possible) version of Myrtle Beach. Where as, the people are basically the same (from Jersey) and there is a rickity-ass "strip" of dollar shops and psychics. After he had his fill of gambling, we retired to our room and ordered room service and a movie. Despite it's seediness, I'd do AC again - if only for the room service and $20 vouchers they give out when you get off the bus.

so much drama in the LIC

Dear People -

I'm sorry I've been neglectful. I've just been overwhelmingly preoccupied, as of late. Many reasons I cannot discuss here. Maybe it was Memphis. Maybe it was southern summer nights. Maybe it was you. Maybe it was me. Maybe it was my legitimatly insane roommate who decided to rent out her room to two strangers (a couple) from Craigslist while she's in Colombia for 2 weeks. Oh, and she told us the day before. Yeah...maybe that was it.

I'll be bock,
Hayley

P.S. We fixed the debacle (as I'm calling it). No sketchy strangers for 2 weeks.

we're doin business here!

sites from the bleecker street fair

The muggiest Saturday ever.



t-shirt stand.



pie in your face.



fresh fruit smoothies.



best gelato ever at grom.

Sex & Candy

Showtime and Comedy Central are really the only two channels I bother watching anymore. Last night, Weeds returned to my life - bringing a visibally older Shane and a much-loved Mary-Louise Parker (originally from Fort Jackson, South Carolina by the way).

And then there was toothy Brit, Billie Piper (what a fabulous name). Secret Diary of a Call Girl was exactly what I expected: soft-core porn. Although entertaining, it will be interesting to see if they can carry an actual story line. If not, it's just a string of steamy Sex scenes, without the City.

trailah

What is it with these Southern pop princesses and their affinity for trailah-ness? Jay Simps has gone way down in my book (long before, but greatly in part to her latest release of a half-ass "country" single). But this is just ridic.



As if her breasts were incapable of drawing attention on their own. I don't even know what this means. Dude, gimme some barbecue.

On the other hand, I'm loving this entire ensemble. Must.find.this.dress.and.bag.

"Well, woke up this morning with a wine glass in my hand.
Whose wine? What wine? Where the hell did I dine?" -- pf

wish list

no vacay this weekend. i'm stuck in this city. and besides the street fair on bleecker street earlier today, there's nothing to do but shop. here are a few things i need:



the new nikon D60 - so i can take some stellar pics and a photography class.



golf clubs (so i can have an excuse to leave on the weekends and perfect/vastly improve my staggering game)



and a pink vespa. this requires no explaination.

i want to join a book club

Is that dorky? Yes I know it is. How do you find one in NYC? I'm pretty sure you have to be invited. God I would be so good at it too. I need to make some book club friends.

My current read:



Hm, the man in this picture kinda reminds me of my Daddy. In the fact that he's a tall, dark, and mysterious human being. Ohmigod I need to go get a Father's Day card. RIGHT. NOW.

it's friday for me

http://www.vh1.com/video/play.jhtml?artist=2084&vid=55086

a little bite of green

I am no self-proclaimed tree-hugger. And I personally find that the entire "go-green" hype is simply a marketing ploy. HOWEVER, this fresh little site is just about the perfect dose of daily green. They are most certainly riding the DailyCandy coattails, what with their look & feel, newsletters and availability to choose BY CITY (hello New York!). But we all love DailyCandy...

http://www.idealbite.com/

oh huffy

"Sen. John McCain appeared on the Today Show this morning and continued to promote his idea of a long occupation in Iraq. But whatever merits there may be for his message, his delivery is once again promising to get him into trouble.

When asked if he knew when American troops could start to return home, McCain responded:
"No, but that's not too important. What's important is the casualties in Iraq."



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/

field trip!

Our entire company is taking us to Six Flags on Friday. I'm guessing that's maybe 600+ people. Flooding the themepark. Packing Mahattan buses, bound for somewhere in New Jersey.

I just picked up my ticket. Booyah - doin it old school, 8th-grade-senior-trip style!

jelly dreams

There is a place in San Francisco, where designers, writers, photographers, and Internet types run a muck. It's called Jelly - and it was started here in NYC back in early 2006 by entrepreneurial lad, Amit Gupta. It's basically where everyone is invited (particularly freelancers and others who work from home) to come to a particular place (they used Amit's apartment for a while) where they can enjoy a casual work environment.

This is better than the time Subway started the Five Dollar Foot-Long promotion.

No, this is WAY better.

This makes me want to run away. To San Francisco (simply because of the pictures below). I want to divorce corprotocracy and have a passionate affair with freedom and a lack of benefits.

Their brilliant rationale:

"They loved working from home, but they missed the creative brainstorming, sharing, and camaraderie of a traditional office. (Office politics, not so much.)"





Seriously. Great.

http://workatjelly.com/

I'm finding all kinds of goodies today - and I really want to switch my blogger to a tumblr account. Dammit, I have nearly a year's worth of non-transferable content. What to do...



St. Mark’s Place between 1st Avenue & Avenue A, Friday evening.

http://mallisser.tumblr.com/

the kind of thing only seen in scented, glossy magazines

I can see myself, back in the day, sitting on the 2nd floor of Patterson Hall (the all girl's freshman dorm at USC). My roommate, Leigh Ann and I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning almost every night. What were we doing? Watching some show about Tommy Hilfiger's daughter who had money coming out of her junk and sing/screaming Celine Dion and Barbara Streisand duets. Dude, do you remember that show??



*the rich girls*



*the p-hall girls*

I can also see myself, listening to John Mayer's "City Love" on repeat - daydreaming. I envisioned myself. For some reason it would be at night. Maybe a little rainy, for dramatic effect. Over a candle-lit dinner, I would sit. With my boyfriend, who probably looked something like John Mayer, and even had his voice. He would be a struggling singer, or maybe an actor. We'd have to share an apartment because we were so poor, but it wouldn't matter because we'd be so in love that we wouldn't have it any other way.

I was Lydia. I would have about 16 toothbrushes lying around all over the place, taking up tons of space. Of course my long, blonde hairs would be all over his personal possessions, because I shed like nobody's business. I'd have some job. Doing something. I'd even wear his clothes to work, because it would be the sort of job, where you can throw on a button down 3 sizes too big and maybe some boxers and just GO.

While at the aforementioned candle-lit dinner, we'd probably have too much wine or sangria or pabst blue ribbon. He'd think about proposing but instead, we'd just go home and spoon to the sound of sirens.

Yeah, that's how it would be when I got to New York City.