Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Heeey! You suck, let's date!

I've recently discovered that I only attract psychopaths and gay men!!! Let's get this out on the table first, I am not complaining about the gay men part. For the most part, I get along with everyone and some of my close friends happen to be gay. But after a year or two of being single, you have ask yourself, "Do I look like a drag queen?". . .

And then there's the crazies. The straight men:

I mean do I SCREAM, "HEY ALL YOU CRAZY WEIRDOS WITH THE QUIRKY TENDENCIES THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY, YOU WANNA ASK ME OUT? OH YOU DO? PERFECT! IT'S EVEN BETTER THAT WE MET IN A SKETCHY CLUB WHERE MY BLOND HAIR AND PAINFUL WHITE-GIRL DANCING GOT YOUR ATTENTION. DINNER YOU SAY? OH GREAT. LET'S GET HALFWAY THROUGH THE APPETIZER BEFORE I REALIZE HOW INCOMPATIBLE WE REALLY ARE AND HAVE TO GULP DOWN A FEW MARTINIS TO GET THROUGH THE REST OF THE EVENING - AT WHICH POINT, I WILL NOT CALL YOU AGAIN SO PLEASE DON'T GET WASTED ON THE WEEKENDS AND DRUNK DIAL ME A MILLION TIMES."

*After this blog, I'm sure that I won't have anymore bad dates to complain about - as I probably won't be asked out on any*

Ahhhhhhkkkkk...but you know what? This is dating. I mean this is it. True Life: I'm 23 years old, single, and dating frogs. I'm running out of steam here and I'm only 6 months into dating here in NYC and I feel like I've seen it all. Two financial consultants, a few Europeans, toss in a couple models and actors (come on, it's NY), and a even a "my new haircut" or so...and still nothing substantial. Poor Carrie - I feel her pain.

And then I look at my friends who are in serious relationships. What a joke. Half of them aren't even really happy. So I have to ask myself? What am I REALLY trying to accomplish here? Am I hopelessly scouring the streets, bars, ice skating rinks (yes I've met one there too) for a McDreamy who doesn't exist - just to get STUCK in one of those dead relationships my so-called "happy" friends are in?

Sighs....okay I think I'm done now. My post-work-out energy is finally fading. I should really stop watching WE's "Platinum Weddings". . . stupid crap.

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